Thursday, March 5, 2015

A NEW DATING MANIFESTO FOR 2015


It's been two years since I first wrote about ghosting here on the blog, and even longer since discussing the stigma of online dating. Since then, I've joined Tinder, quit Tinder, joined it again—and dated more than I have in years.

Throughout this span, I've met a lot of really great men both on and offline: attractive, funny, outdoorsy, and gainfully employed in interesting fields. What we'd call "good guys." For the most part, these demi-relationships ended in various manifestations of ghosting. This fall, I did that thing where I hadn't heard from a guy in about a week, so I drank two glasses of wine and texted him a pretty benign question to remind him I was alive. About another week later, I realized he never replied.

There are two things that bother me about this: The first is that this guy barely knew me (we had met through Tinder and gone on two dates), he wasn't emotionally invested and still, couldn't bother himself to politely call it off. The second is that I am more or less desensitized to this behavior because I've come to expect it (and have dished it out a time or two, I'll admit). A potential romance ended for both parties with a definitive, "Meh."

In the modern landscape of dating, indifference has become more than just the norm—it's the goal. It's always been cool not to care, but I'd venture to call our current attitude something like acutely blasé.

And here's what really grinds my gears: Generally speaking, we're a bunch of good people—running around not being good to each other. Why? With something as important as our hearts on the line, why shouldn't we feel? Why shouldn't we treat people courteously and carefully?

In the time since I was writing about dating rather prolifically, I've changed my tune a bit. I wouldn't say I'm bitter—but jaded? Certainly. I actually love dating, and don't particularly mind being single. However, the pattern of meet, date, disappear is becoming tiresome and most disappointingly, boring! Dating has started to feel like a chore.

If you ask me, it should be a spicy mix of fun, exciting and emotional. Sparks should be flying! Our brains should be snapping and whirling and buzzing with activity. Our hearts should at least be present if not skipping beats. Dating should make you feel alive, not dead inside.

And so: Spring is coming. It's a time for renewal; a time for fresh beginnings and eventually, bare legs. Let's shake off the weight of winter, let go of the lazy, apathetic attitudes that keep us glued to Netflix on a perfectly good Thursday night—and try dating with a little gusto.

CLICK THROUGH FOR A NEW DATING MANIFESTO...

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

MID-WEEK MUSIC MOMENT: COLONY HOUSE


{ Driving down a road, down a road that's rolling
All the lovely memories your heart's been holding
Nothing silhouettes till the lights come on }

This week's MWMM is kind of a random find—at least as far as musical discoveries go on this blog. I was browsing Spotify's redesigned "Discover" tab and sampling the "Top Recommendations For You." Not ever suggestion was a win, of course, but I found myself really digging on Colony House, an indie-rock trio from Tennessee. This is their debut single from 2014, "Silhouettes." I know, I know it's not that fresh, but just go with it.

This song gives me major "Spring is coming!" vibes with it's cheerful guitar and sort of retro sound. It's the kind of song you'd want to hear speeding down an empty highway in the midst of a spontaneous roadtrip—hand out the window, hair blowing in the breeze. Jeeze, anyone else feeling this insatiable need for a warm, sunny getaway ASAP?

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

{STYLING NOTES} WHAT TO BUY NOW...


This is a weird time of year to shop. Stores are rolling out their early spring product, which, most often, isn't nearly as great as what will hit shelves a little later in the season. However, the urge to shop is strong. I find myself wondering if I can will spring into existance if I just buy enough ankle-skimming pants.

The weather sucks, the novelty of the snow has worn off, and the cold is threatening to drive us all into a red wine-induced hybernation we might never recover from. What can we do other than get House of Cards going on the TV while simultaneously filling our online shopping carts?

Personally, I cannot resist the shopping bug any longer. I've narrowed down my list to just a few things, since I know I'll be feeling that major spring BUY ALL THE THINGS fever in a month or two. If you're feeling similarly, allow me to suggest a few smart, lasting purchases you can make now that won't leave you feeling pangs of regret come April and May.

THE BAG: As I mentioned a few weeks ago when I was exalting the virtue of J. Crew's Downing Bucket Bag, now is a great time to invest in a bad you can carry all year long. It's kind of the ideal purchase for this time of year: You get the instant gratification of wearing it right away, and the satisfaction of knowing you'll continue to use it and love it long after the thrill of the purchase has worn off. A killer bucket bag is really on-trend now, but I I'd also consider a roomy, simple tote bag like this one from Cuyana (I love this burgundy shade) or Madewell's Transport Tote

SPRING KICKS: No sandals, not yet. Sure, the days for exposed ankles are pretty rare at this point in the year, but I sort of force them as long as the sun is out and the sidewalks are dry. For this reason, I say go ahead and invest in your new spring sneakers now. This season everyone is rocking the old school Adidas Stan Smith (they look pretty killer with black cropped pants and a coccoon coat) but I'd also argue for J. Crew's version of the Nike Internationalist with a dash of neon, or the eternal appeal of the Converse Chuck Taylor.

SILKY PANTS: I love the semi-dressy look of the 'Reese' tuxedo pants from J. Crew. They have that relaxed, slouchy silhouette but the tuxedo stripe elevates them to office and after-hours appropriate. These are the ideal pants to pull on for brunch with your new spring kicks (and a heavy coat, at least for now) and later (May?), with sassy heeled sandals and a slinky top for a hot date.

A NEW SCENT: I sometimes get into a rut where I associate certain scents with certain seasons. I love my Elizabeth and James Nirvana White, but it has the warm, comforting association of fall and winter for me. I'm thinking now is the time to seek out a bright, fresh scent that will make it feel like I'm wearing a bit of spring each day, even if it's still snowing. (Something along the lines of old favorite Jo Malone Lime Basil & Mandarin) And on that note, any suggestions?

A NEW BEAUTY BUY: In this transitional time, why not experiment with a new lipstick hue or eyeliner shape to change things up? If you must wear that dreaded down coat for another few weeks, might as well rock it with a killer cat eye, no? I'm dying to try the incredibly well-reviewed Benefit 'They're Real' gel liner

A HAIRCUT: Yes! If you're not inspired to buy anything, why not freshen up your look in a real way? Schedule a trim or a chop and kick off spring feeling like a new version of yourself, rather than your same ol' self in a new pair of shoes. (Need some inspo? This Pinterest board should help!)

Friday, February 27, 2015

ALL THE THINGS I LIKED ON THE INTERNET THIS WEEK { VOL 7 }



Can you feel it? Maybe not, because it's still so damn cold, but February is almost over. March is coming, and with it (hopefully) a little less frigid and a little more sunshine. Traditionally I hate the month of March, but if it means finally retiring my hat and scarf for the season, I'll take it. Anyway, this week's links span the spectrum of weird and wonderful and totally hilarious, but there's a larger theme which is amazing animals. Cats, llamas, snow monkeys... They all had a good week. Enjoy, and have a fantastic weekend.
You guys, my hometown is weird and wonderful. In Seattle, AN 8-YEAR-OLD GIRL IS GETTING GIFTS FROM CROWS. She feeds them daily, and they bring her treasures. This is not a drill. 
You know what else isn't a drill? LLAMAS ON THE LOOSE IN ARIZONA. We are all these llamas today. (For the full runaway helicopter videos, go HERE.)
IF YOU GIVE A DUDE A KALE CHIP. Humor pieces like this remind me why I wish I read The New Yorker more often. 
If you (like me) were obsessed with following the story of missing Malaysia Airlines flight MH370, you'll want to read THIS THEORY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PLANE from Jeff Wise and New York magazine.  
You need to hear CHRISTINA AGUILERA SINGING "THIS LITTLE PIGGY" LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS. God bless you, Jimmy Fallon. 
Okay speaking of musical blasts from the past, you need to see WARREN G AND KENNY G PERFORMING "REGULATE" on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Like, what
In case you needed to be reminded that 29 isn't really that old (I always do), MEET MISSAN THE 29-YEAR-OLD CAT FROM SWEDEN. A 29 year old cat, you guys. That kitty is old. We are not old. 
If you were wondering how fashion blogger CHIARA FERRAGNI MAKES $8 MILLION PER YEAR, read this article. Then think about how she's 27 years old. Then wonder where you went wrong... 
For your weekly dose of cuuuuuuuute, may I present LIAM NEESON AND BABY SNOW MONKEYS
50 SHADES OF GREY IS A GREAT DATING GUIDE? According to New York magazine, yes. Yes, it is.
And finally, for your new favorite "winter ain't so bad" escapism, follow Glacier National Park ranger BECCA ALFAFARA ON INSTAGRAM. You're welcome. 

Thursday, February 26, 2015

{GETAWAY GIRL} LONG WEEKEND IN LAKE PLACID...


"I think my nose hairs are frozen."

As we stepped out of the Tahoe and into the late evening air of Lake Placid, New York, that was one of the first things anyone said. (After a chorus of creative expletives from all five of us, of course.) 

We were trying to locate the correct entrance to the Olympic Center in town to meet our guide, Jon Lundin, for a quick tour of the place. We eventually succeeded, and had the rather incredible opportunity to stand on center ice where the famed 'Miracle On Ice' took place exactly 35 years ago—but not before we spent a bone-chilling 15 minutes outside looking for our destination.

Desperation. Exasperation. Sharp exchanges of words brought out of frustration. Thoughts of, "Should we just go back??" All of this because we had a bit of trouble finding a door.

The cold of February in Lake Placid is the kind that doesn't just get through your layers of long underwear and prickle your skin—it permeates your muscles, pumps through your veins and puts a vice grip on your bones. Every thought you have seems to get coated in icicles as soon as it leaves your brain.

That said, I don't think we could have enjoyed ourselves more if we tried. Temperatures barely crept above zero degrees the entire weekend (keeping the "feels like" temperature somewhere around -20 most days and -35 at night), but between the fabulous skiing, two cases of red wine, lingering dinners followed by epic rounds of Cards against Humanity and Kings Cup, Olympic activities and sheer determination—we made the most of New York's most frigid (and incredibly fun) winter playground.

CLICK THROUGH FOR ALL OUR ADVENTURES & MY BEST RECOMMENDATIONS...

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

MID-WEEK MUSIC MOMENT: FLORENCE + THE MACHINE


{ And with one kiss
you inspire a fire of devotion that lasts for 20 years
What kind of man loves like this? }

You guys. How long have we waited for new music from Flo? It's been four years since we were blessed with Ceremonials in 2011, and her contribution to The Great Gatsby soundtrack, "Over The Love" came out in 2013. I've missed her so, haven't you?

When Florence + The Machine started appearing on festival lineups earlier this year, I started to get my hopes up. Now with the release of "What Kind of Man," dare I dream that a whole new album might be coming this year? This summer, even?

Anyway, since all we can do is speculate, we might as well enjoy what we have now. "What Kind Of Man" is a thumping, broken hearts anthem that sounds like classic Flo with a bit more attitude. I like it. It doesn't give me all the feels of the big songs from Lungs or Ceremonials, but it definitely has that element of earth-shaking goodness that makes her music so powerful.

Check it out below and let me know what you think: